Good luck White Sox

May you finish the season strong White Sox. I honestly hope you make the playoffs and get to the World Series-so the Cubs can whoop that a$$. As a celebration of the Cubs superb season, I present some photographs that have a warm spot in all Cubs fans' hearts. White Sox fans probably want to look away:

I love how scared AJ looks in this picture. He knows he got caught actin' a biatch and that he is about to pay the price.

Xanadu! Perhaps the best photograph ever taken. A picture really does tell a thousand words.

Hey, how did that get there? Sorry female fans of the blog, it appears my computer has a virus. That gratuitous photo isn't supposed to be there. Rest assured, I have my IT people working on this now. We will work diligently to correct this error.

Let's Act Like We've Been There Before

Attention all Cubs fans:

I might just be a cranky c-knocker, but I'm really tired of Cubs fans (I'm one, fyi) acting like Saddam died, another economic "stimulus" check was mailed, and WHAM reunited all on the same day whenever we win the Central. Come on people, we have like the 2nd or 3rd highest payroll in the league, the best park in the nation in one of the best baseball neighborhoods, and we're in one the nation's largest media markets. We should be winning this thing damn near every year. Let's act like clinching the division in mid-September is expected, instead of this:


We don't want to give our players the impression that the mission is accomplished:


I'm a realist who appreciates baseball and Chicago and actin' a fool just because we won a division is unacceptable in my opinion. People typically meet clearly defined expectations and we should let the players and management know that a World Series WIN is what will garner our collective adoration. Just making it is not doing it for me. Winning the NLCS will be nice, but if we lose in the World Series I'll be more pissed than ever. Ever. Let's act like Yankees fans and throw this front up until we're hoisting that trophy high:

Da Bears

The unofficial, pre-season FLC (OOTNGB) stance regarding the
Bears season would be that their record, after all was said and done, would be...4 and 12. This was based on last season's performance and the seemingly terrible decision to draft Matt Forte in the 2nd round and the potentially disastrous offensive line situation. I stand corrected. After smashing Indy, at Indy, and spanking Carolina for 3 quarters on the road, I'm adjusting the official stance. 10 and 6 is the new prediction. This prediction comes with some qualifiers. One: Brian Urlacher needs to concentrate on hittin' running backs and not hittin' skeezers like this:


2. Matt Forte continues to run like Emmit Smith and not like this dunce:


3. Greg Olson stops actin' a bitch and learns how to make plays like the H-Bomb:



And 4: We treat the Bucs like we would if this skank hoe were trying to jack us for our ends:


If all this happens, I'll be smiling like the 'Lach and Zume in this pic (recognize that chick BL is fondling? She's from Rock of Love Season 1...)


BTW, I know I have some loyal readers that are Lions fans. Let me remind y'all are 0-2 and this is what MegaTron really looks like:



Watch Mike Brown shut his ass down.

Bikini Shot

I promised my devoted fans that I would post the Sarah Palin bikini shots once they were available. My main-man forwarded this to me (one of the best attorneys in Chicago-email me if you need his info.) and I appreciate the thought:


It's probably photoshopped, but McCain's camp couldn't have done a better job. It's about f-ing time we had a bikini-clad, gun-totin', fancy-spectacled-wearin' VP candidate. I heard Obama's camp is releasing an equivalent photo of Biden to garner female votes. Don't worry, I won't be posting it:

Cougar Alert! Hissssssssssssssttt!

As we all know, the official OOTNGB stance regarding blogging about politics is that we don't do it. Ever. There is too much going on behind the scenes we're not privy to and multitudes of opinions, "insights", and other inane information to sift through that I feel like I would be wasting my time and only offering regurgitate for my loyal readers to enjoy. And this exception to my blog policy proves my point. Hours and days of "pundits'" and citizens' lives were spent arguing over who would be McCain's VP. And none of them knew jack shiat. McCain just changed the whole game up by throwing this surprise left-hook:



This post isn't about Sarah Palin's contribution to McCain's campaign or the potential threat she poses to Obama's, because quite frankly, I have no f-ing clue what either one of those are. I hope some of those questions can be answered in the comments section.

No, this post is to fulfill the duties I uphold as a Cougar watchman and to issue the Cougar Alert when I see a dangerous Cougar on the prowl. And believe you me, this is one dangerous cougar. Look at the perfectly manicured up-do, the economically applied make-up and the tasteful glasses. This chick is hot and will eat lesser men alive, I guarantee it.



I want you to look carefully at her eyes in this picture. Do you see what they're saying? They're saying, "I will find a strapping man half my age, ravish him sexually, and leave him shortly thereafter whimpering and asking if I love him. And to that I will simply answer, I just did." Be very careful if you happen to encounter this cougar in the wild. Try your best to not make eye-contact and back away slowly.

Let's see the natural look:



Stunning. You might see this face at a PTA meeting one minute and the next in a stylish nightclub, stalking her prey.

All kidding aside, and I know she has a family and all that crap (not that that necessarily diminishes her potential cougarhood), this chick is pretty hot. I'm really excited about this election now. It's going to get real interesting. When the bikini shots surface, I will faithfully post them.

Barack and Roll

Most of my readers are Obama supporters and I'd say all but one are huge Rick Astley fans. Therefore I think I'm obligated to share this:



-Dan

Vintage Footage

I know most of you won't give a flying-f***, but I found this full-length DePaul vs. Lousville game from 1980. For those of you that don't know, this DePaul squad was arguably the best of all time and was loaded with future NBA talent such as Mark Aguirre (#1 overall pick in '81), Terry Cummings (#2 overall pick in '82), Skip Dillard ('82 NBA draft pick), Teddy Grubbs (McDonald's All-American), etc.

Check out the video here: http://tv4u.com/show-large-video.asp?cid=26&sid=705&vid=1966&t=1980%20DePaul%20vs%20Louisville&cat=Classic%20Sports

Louisville was coming off a National championship season. A great game and you get to see Billy Packard in him prime! The advertisers are hilarious-Datsun, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Milton Bradley...it was a simpler time.

It's sad to watch it now because of the current shape of the Mens Basketball program. Hey Jerry Wainwright (head coach of DePaul), and I know you read this family blog regularly so I won't get too heated, but: Could you please get off your a** and get some recruits in here? We have 0 recruits for '09 while Villanova already has the #2 recruiting class and G'Town and Marquette are in the top 10.

I know you only recruit "character" guys, but shiat, we need some bodies in here, you might have to get some "less that desirables" in here if we want to field a team in '09, because you know Dar and Mac are going pro on us early like every other decent player we ever get. Seriously, it might be time to go the Bob Huggins' route and recruit some players that might not fit our high character, Vincentian mold, like this a**h***:

-Dan