How to lose a game with 11 seconds left and a 1 point lead

I know most people don't give a spelunking-f*** (if there are flying-f***s, why can't there be spelunking-f***s? Just think about that one for a while.), but the Bears just illustrated the only way you can lose a game after throwing a game winning touchdown with 11 seconds left. If you missed it, here it is:

I can imagine Lovie Smith asking the team after Orton, yes Orton:

And again, yes, that Kyle Orton:

led the Bears to a miraculous come-from-behind 4th quarter victory, how they could possibly lose this game with only 11 seconds left on the clock.

I guarantee this guy then stepped forward and offered insight that bespoke of his proficiency in such situations:


The knowledge he dropped probably went something like this, "Listen guys, there are only 11 seconds left on the clock. It's going to be exceedingly difficult to blow this game, but if we execute like professionals, we can make this happen. First, special teams needs to squib kick the ball only to the 45 yard line. This will make sure the other team will have at least 6 seconds to get a play in to get them into field goal range. We could kick it out of the end zone, but that will give the other team 80 yards to go and it is impossible to go 80 yards in 11 seconds, even against us. Next, the defense needs to play a zone that will allow the Falcons to complete the only pass that will give them enough yards to get into field goal range while also getting out of bounds and stopping the clock". Done and done.

Congratulations Chicago Bears. You suck. You suck really hard. Not even the chokers on the North Side could come up with and execute a plan like that.
Before I forget, Peanut:

yeah, you. Don't think I didn't notice how you had to fake that injury again after getting lit up about 9 times in a row. You're terrible and I want you and your family to remove my link from your favorites list. On the bright side, Eva Mendes is still alive. In rough economic times like this, she somehow makes everything alright:

Have a wonderful week.