Email Etiquette and More!

Some would say I'm easily annoyed by people. I would argue that most people are highly annoying. I want to share with you some aspects of email communication that really get under my skin and you can decide which of the preceding sentiments is true.

Highly annoying email habit #1 (this list is in descending order of level of annoyance):

! (The red exclamation mark).

If you use this stop. If you receive an email that has this bright piece of punctuation attached to it, delete it immediately without reading the content in order to teach the sender a lesson. There are only 3 pieces of information that warrant a symbol of such immediacy.

Those being:
1. If you want to warn the members of your company of an impending and possibly catastrophic asteroid hit to the building.
2. You're being stabbed by somebody and need help.
3. Wham reunites.

By using "!" for reasons other than the aforementioned, you're only "crying wolf" and will be responsible for the lives of your beloved coworkers on that fateful day when you notice a flaming rock hurtling towards your building and your email of warning is casually deleted by everyone that has grown to hate you and your obnoxious email habits.
Moreover, those that constantly use "!", and you know who you are, devalue our society's collective sense of urgency as a whole and are dangerously close to creating a world in which the average office worker will suffer epileptic seizure after epileptic seizure, each time spilling scalding coffee all over his/her chest and face whenever your d.a. sends an email about the meeting changing from 3:3o to 3:45 or when there are free bagels in the break room.

Highly annoying email habit #2:

Carpet CCing.

Carpet Bombing is a term used to describe a highly concentrated aerial attack on a city/region/country by heavy bombers. The term was popularized in this country during the Vietnam war when American B-52 bombers would totally annihilate vast areas of jungle in the North with a combination of gravity and incendiary bombs. The intent is to cover an area of land completely with bombs like a carpet completely covers an area of floor.
Carpet CCing is when a d.a. (that is short for dumb ass, for those that don't know) CC's every member of his/her company and most of his/her extended family on a relatively unimportant email so everybody thinks he/she is doing his/her job and working very hard. Carpet CCing is really only used by people that don't do a lot of work or work particularly hard. Those of us that have nothing to do with the content of Carpet CCers' emails and are included on the CC line know exactly what these people are up to.
If you Carpet CC, stop. Try doing your job on a more regular basis so it becomes apparent you're there and the Carpet CC becomes unnecessary. If you receive a Carpet CC, reply to all with something like, "oh, Mr./Mrs. D.A., didn't realize you were here today, thanks for including me on this CC that has absolutely nothing to with me or anything I'm working on. After your 3 hour lunch break, don't forget to CC me on another inane email that is totally irrelevant to myself and what I do".


Highly annoying email habit #3:

The Tattle CC.

The tattle CC is when two employees are engaged in some very tense back and forth correspondence that may have led to unkind words being exchanged, one of them gets mad, emails a supervisor, and CCs the the adversarial employee. We learned in Kindergarten that nobody likes a tattletale and it remains true in the adult, corporate world. If you have a problem with a person, work it out maturely. Employing the Tattle CC only makes you look like a child and your supervisor will think less of you for resorting to such a base tactic.


This post will be continued...

By the way, if you know anybody interested in purchasing real estate in Cook County in the near future, please encourage them to do so before July 1st. After that date, new "predatory lending" regulations will be in effect that will cost potential home buyers time, money, and mortgage options. Contact me with any questions.