Sweet Paintings I Just Did On Paintbrush

I've taken up my old hobby of painting really sweet pictures in the program that comes with Windows called "Paint" or "Paintbrush". I might do a Hippo vs. Giraffe battle later today. I'll make sure to post it as soon as it is done. Check out these for now:

I guess most art critics would lump me in with the post-impressionists. Kind of an American Van Gogh with Nabis tendencies (minus any art nouveau aesthetic in regards to tone). If you would like any portrait work done or any paintings of animals, let me know and I'll create an original for you.

Who do the Bulls take with the #1 pick the NBA fixed for them to get?

Rose is the choice, hands down. Beasley is a little small to play power forward in the NBA and a little slow and not enough handles to play small forward. He is a tweener, but skilled enough to probably put up 20 points a game regardless. I'm trying to think of a player like him and all I can think of is a more skilled Marcus Fizer with a professional J. Not a bad pick at all. He will score in the NBA, but I think Derrick Rose has more upside. I've never seen a pure point guard that can throw down double pump reverse windmill jams. His athleticism is sick. His J needs work but it's foundation is solid-he doesn't have any bad habits that will hold him back from becoming a legit 3 point threat. He thinks pass first but can score in bunches when he needs to. And he knows when he needs to and when he doesn't-his basketball IQ is off the charts as well. If he can get his J to the flaming level, he will be very tough to guard because he can break down damn near anybody off the dribble. He'll make Bruce "defensive specialist" Bowen his b**** without a doubt.

Here is some sick shiat from his days at Simeon:




My only worry is that playing in Chicago will present him with unnecessary distraction. He doesn't need everybody from his old neighborhood calling him and showing up at his house asking for money. Not to mention all of the NBA players from Chicago that come back here end up getting jacked (Antoine Walker, Eddy Curry) in their own homes, and probably by people they once considered to be their "homies". But if he gets a place up in Highland Park next to Mike and has the security situation locked, he should be fine. He'll also need to stay away from the clubs so he can avoid a Tank Johnson situation. Man that dude was dumb.

Flavor of Love III Finale

A winner has been crowned and as I predicted it was Thing II.

This is the most flattering picture of her I could find. For those that don't watch the show, she isn't smiling with her teeth for a very good reason. That reason being she only has four or five of them and they're spaced quite far apart. The gold grill Flav gave her when she won will definitely offer an aesthetic improvement over the jacked-up assortment of jagged, crooked teeth she calls a mouth-which is kind of scary.

Thing II's victory was a watershed moment in Flavor of Love history. For once Flavor Flav chose a lady that will probably still do him after the cameras go off. This was not the case with the Season 1 and 2 winners, Hoopz and Delishis, respectively. At the reunion shows, they pulled the ole' "let me turn my head real quick before impact so you kiss my cheek and I can avoid getting tongued down like a giraffe". Of course, Flav wasn't having that and forced his tongue down their throats anyways, but that's just how that sick, Gollum-looking m-fer rolls.

I often wondered if Flav chose the hottest chicks he could never score in real life under the direction of the producers or if he really thought they liked him and he was going to wax them after the cameras turned off. I could see the producers pushing him in the direction of the hotties because they damn well knew they would dump him at the reunion show and thus the producers could produce another season of the crap.

On the other hand, after looking at that picture above, it's not hard to imagine that Flav might be delusional enough to believe these skanks and hoes really care about him and find him to be sensitive, insightful, and least believable, bangable. That's pretty delusional because there have been times on that show when skanks practically gag and vomit a little in their mouths after being tongued down by this dude.

But Thing II is different. I think she truly loves him and finds him to be everything she has ever wanted or looked for, which says far more about her than it does him. For Flav, Thing II is the skank that won't use the spotlight to further an acting/modeling/singing career and will more than likely continue to do him well after the final episode.

Thankfully, and I truly mean this, it appears that we'll be spared a Flavor of Love IV. It's time for another washed up celebrity to bang skanks half his age and shamelessly promote some new album that totally sucks. I suggest Corey Haim.

-Dan

Patrick Ewing Jr. Dunk

This is old news but I know a lot of you have no idea this dunk occurred or how ridiculous the bad-boy was.



I don't think I've ever seen that dunk tried before. The execution was flawless. And to top it off, the m-fer is right-handed. He dunked that with his left hand. He did that at this year's NCAA slam dunk contest. It goes to show you there are original dunks and dunkers left in this world and those NBA players resorting to blowing out candles atop pastries and dressing up in some little brat's Superman Halloween costume need to step their games up.

The Cubs

In honor of their weekend series win over the Pirates and Soriano's hot play I present this wonderful picture. Sorry ladies, this one isn't intended for your eyes.

Email Etiquette and More!

Some would say I'm easily annoyed by people. I would argue that most people are highly annoying. I want to share with you some aspects of email communication that really get under my skin and you can decide which of the preceding sentiments is true.

Highly annoying email habit #1 (this list is in descending order of level of annoyance):

! (The red exclamation mark).

If you use this stop. If you receive an email that has this bright piece of punctuation attached to it, delete it immediately without reading the content in order to teach the sender a lesson. There are only 3 pieces of information that warrant a symbol of such immediacy.

Those being:
1. If you want to warn the members of your company of an impending and possibly catastrophic asteroid hit to the building.
2. You're being stabbed by somebody and need help.
3. Wham reunites.

By using "!" for reasons other than the aforementioned, you're only "crying wolf" and will be responsible for the lives of your beloved coworkers on that fateful day when you notice a flaming rock hurtling towards your building and your email of warning is casually deleted by everyone that has grown to hate you and your obnoxious email habits.
Moreover, those that constantly use "!", and you know who you are, devalue our society's collective sense of urgency as a whole and are dangerously close to creating a world in which the average office worker will suffer epileptic seizure after epileptic seizure, each time spilling scalding coffee all over his/her chest and face whenever your d.a. sends an email about the meeting changing from 3:3o to 3:45 or when there are free bagels in the break room.

Highly annoying email habit #2:

Carpet CCing.

Carpet Bombing is a term used to describe a highly concentrated aerial attack on a city/region/country by heavy bombers. The term was popularized in this country during the Vietnam war when American B-52 bombers would totally annihilate vast areas of jungle in the North with a combination of gravity and incendiary bombs. The intent is to cover an area of land completely with bombs like a carpet completely covers an area of floor.
Carpet CCing is when a d.a. (that is short for dumb ass, for those that don't know) CC's every member of his/her company and most of his/her extended family on a relatively unimportant email so everybody thinks he/she is doing his/her job and working very hard. Carpet CCing is really only used by people that don't do a lot of work or work particularly hard. Those of us that have nothing to do with the content of Carpet CCers' emails and are included on the CC line know exactly what these people are up to.
If you Carpet CC, stop. Try doing your job on a more regular basis so it becomes apparent you're there and the Carpet CC becomes unnecessary. If you receive a Carpet CC, reply to all with something like, "oh, Mr./Mrs. D.A., didn't realize you were here today, thanks for including me on this CC that has absolutely nothing to with me or anything I'm working on. After your 3 hour lunch break, don't forget to CC me on another inane email that is totally irrelevant to myself and what I do".


Highly annoying email habit #3:

The Tattle CC.

The tattle CC is when two employees are engaged in some very tense back and forth correspondence that may have led to unkind words being exchanged, one of them gets mad, emails a supervisor, and CCs the the adversarial employee. We learned in Kindergarten that nobody likes a tattletale and it remains true in the adult, corporate world. If you have a problem with a person, work it out maturely. Employing the Tattle CC only makes you look like a child and your supervisor will think less of you for resorting to such a base tactic.


This post will be continued...

By the way, if you know anybody interested in purchasing real estate in Cook County in the near future, please encourage them to do so before July 1st. After that date, new "predatory lending" regulations will be in effect that will cost potential home buyers time, money, and mortgage options. Contact me with any questions.